Religious Colours : Spiritual LGBT

LGBT History Month Event hosted by The LGBT Fed

In February The LGBT Fed held an event for people of all faiths and none, to meet and discuss spirituality; ‘an evening of free public debate and discussion on Religion, Belief and Philosophy’ to be precise. Five speakers from organised religions were willing to offer their brief thoughts on the subject one evening during LGBT History Month and discussion groups and snacks would follow their thoughts. The intentions being to hold a respectful and open discussion; to learn more about a wide variety of views, thoughts and feelings; to hear about peoples experiences and solutions to problems; all in an atmosphere of acceptance tolerance and dare I say communion.

For some this was and is a hot topic.

It seems some of the invited speakers had more pressing things to attend to and at the last minute couldn’t attend. This was unfortunate as it changed the flavor of the evening, however it meant that we were able to spend more time talking with each other which was lovely, and dare I say possibly better? Our ‘lone voice’ was Rev Cecilia Eggleston from Northern Lights MCC. Not one to crumble in the light of a challenge, she gave us some of her thoughts about spirituality, organized religion, and a compassionate god, but mostly about a loving approach to all peoples. Stop laughing. I know it’s not what you usually hear. But we did, we had a religious leader (female as it refreshingly happened) who was more interested and concerned about whether I felt cared for and loved in my life, than whether I believe the same as her. Cecilia spoke about her interest in people i.e. “who are you?” and “are you ok”, rather than “what do you believe?” A cool drink in this dry land of oppression.

Cecilia gave the view that perhaps an immense god can decide for him/her self whether you and I were good enough, on the right side, in or out, etc. and doesn’t really need our help to make that judgment thank you (I précis). Good point I think. I for one wouldn’t want to presume to know as much as, or better than, an all-seeing omnipotent originator of life, whatever shape he/she/it takes. I know better than to take on more than I can chew, so to speak.

One of the key things I heard people say during the evening was how important one person can be, the importance of individuals, individual people, and the impact one person can have on the whole of another person’s life. In discussions, I heard people comment that any religion or belief or dogma only has an influence if one person makes it so, and more importantly, that the person can make it a positive or negative influence on others. Basically, that what you as an individual say matters, how you treat people matters, what you believe about the other person matters. During the discussion groups we shared some stories of hard and hurtful times at the hands of individuals from many ‘religions’, and I heard that some of us are yet to heal from those experiences. The pain for some people was palpable to the rest of us, and tears were shed. Some people talked of having walked away from strongly held spiritual beliefs, giving up what they considered a life long core part of themselves, serious and long term commitments, unable to continue in the organized religious groups they held so dear. Some of us have yet to find a spiritual home.

Whatever you think of religion in any of its various forms, many of us have a wish to be part of something existentially bigger than ourselves. I heard some people (and it was the majority but not all) have had dreadful and life changing experiences. Some of us have had doors slammed in our faces – literally, some have been accused of evil influences on others, some that we need to change our sexuality (or at the least not practice it) to stay belonging. Because of our honesty about our innate and unchangeable sexuality, we have suffered.  ‘Honesty’, isn’t that core to all religious and spiritual teaching? During the evening we were a bit short of people voicing broader spiritual approaches, rather than religious thinking (mainstream organized), but perhaps another time….

Personally, I’m with the rainbow, I want all the colours, all the tones and all the interpretative varieties, oh and a pot of gold at the end too if there is one.

Some of us have been subject to fundamentalism in one form or another, and in brutal ways, and took a few minutes to tell us about some of those experiences. The evening took me back to the time I was called ‘possessed’. So not just wrong, not just bad, not just the sugar coated ‘sinful’, not even just in need of some kind of ‘redemption’… But actually on the Other Side. The evil, bad, degenerate, malevolent, inherently embodying or associated with the forces of, wickedness.  Heavy. I’d forgotten just how flattening the weight of all that is, how damaging to a sense of wellbeing, and of fundamental worth. This still happens.

In general the evening’s discussions were positive and supportive, and people were clear about the hurt that they had experienced and the path beyond that hurt.  Clear that ‘the religious group’ of whatever flavour (or colour) was not the main problem. It’s the people, the individuals, their individual misuse of power, the focusing on private intimacy between consenting couples (sex), the selective choosing of texts to the ignorance of others, the creation of dogma. Thankfully we also had solutions as part of our experience. We all knew one person who didn’t condemn or exclude but who ‘got to know the individual’, ‘cared about who and how they were’, and ‘acknowledged that their god being so powerful and massive will therefore be more than able to see and decide a persons religious credibility for him/herself.’

Some of us touched on the positives, and the liberties LGBT people now have in most of Britain. I.e. to be in a civil partnership, to be married, to have joint house tenancies, to be legally (if not always automatically) consulted about a partner’s illness or death, etc.. Reminding ourselves of how change has come about, even in our own lifetime. About the results of battles our elders have fought (lets not forget that folks) so we can walk down the street hand in hand if we want to (do we do that often enough?), so we can book a hotel room as a couple, so we have rights even if we come across discrimination. Religious groups may have a long way to go, but the secular have taken ages, literally, to get to the point we’re at now, I think maybe we can be a little patient as some groups catch up?

It’s a tricky one, religion. Like politics I take the view never to discuss it late in the evening or after alcoholic beverage has been imbibed, as this hot potato inevitably raises strong emotions and often upsetting experiences. But, it was refreshing to spend an evening talking about our spirituality, beliefs, philosophies, and religions, with LGBT friends. I hazard a guess it’s not something many of us have discussed at length very often, perhaps due to a tendency towards political and practical immediacies. It was completely invigorating to be able to link two parts of my life, sexuality and spirituality, not diametrically opposed after all.

And later, driving home I heard Susan Calman on the radio. It seems there are lesbians everywhere, visible in every sphere of life, in major religious groups, in professions, in the headlines and the corners of society.  It’s good to know, and excellent news that some of us manage to maintain a positive outlook on life, despite, rather than because of our experiences.

So mote it be.

Ruby

Quotes from the evening:

“I remember how scared I was and how hard it was to come out to my religious parents. the stakes were high. I had to be very very sure. There would be no going back. There would be no family.”

“I remember being told I was demon possessed, and believing them.” 

“I remember people I knew and loved, close friends, walking round me on the street, crossing the road, not answering even ‘hello’.”

“I remember not wanting to say nothing to anyone about my girlfriend. I knew some people wouldn’t like me. I knew it would be the end of our friendship, I didn’t want that so I was careful what I said. I was right.”

“I remember someone asking me if I was gay. I was terrified. I didn’t think I was going to get out of the room without being hurt. I didn’t tell them, but they presumed which was just as bad.”

”I remember not telling anyone. I was always alone. I wanted to be part of the church group more than I wanted a partner. I regret that now”.

“I remember the day I found a vicar who said it was ok that I was gay. It was such a relief I cried for days. I can have both parts of my life, my beliefs in a kind god and my sexuality.”

For anyone interested our speaker was : Rev. Cecilia Eggleston Northern Lights Metropolitan Community Church. http://mccchurch.org

‘Carol’

‘Oh romance romance romance!’

This film is a delicious tale of desire, of yearning, of discretion, of things unspoken but definitely understood. A classic love story so beautifully portrayed that I challenge you to leave the cinema without a lump in your throat.

It’s not just aesthetically beautiful, it also incorporates issues of politics, law, social pressure, childcare, relationships, power, visibility, and there’s fun! Not to mention the cars! Something for everyone then.  The warning at the start ‘infrequent strong sex’, brought a snort from my neighbour in the cinema which I took to be ‘I wish’.  And of course there was also ‘that which dare not speak its name’, yes, there’s smoking!

At last a major film about feminine emotion. ’Carol’ is the project of screenwriter Phyllis Nagy (based on Patricia Highsmith’s novel of 1952) who has fought to get it made since writing her first draft 19 years ago. What a wait! What a result! It is a phenomenally exquisite portrayal of two womens lives, set in an era that’s fraught with significant risks for anyone being demonstrative, and is performed magically by Blanchett and Mara. They expertly show us the lives of women having to negotiate love through the thorny discriminations of social convention, social ostracism, hatred and misunderstanding, and yet still hold on to what they know is honest in a world that wants them to lie and conform.  Worth remembering for some people I’ve heard saying they couldn’t believe in the womens relationship! There’s no ‘in your face, brash, overt, explicit’ communications here, far too risky (remember the days of violence and discriminatory laws?) but there is definitely precise, measured, restrained and dignified ‘goings on’.

Parts of this film are touchingly familiar to many of us today. Have you ever had someone splinter a conversation that was tantalizingly and desperately meaningful? And surely I’m not the only one who can relate to the struggle these women had to express their tender delicate feelings, especially in these modern days of instant and ungainly communication.  ‘Carol’ is a film of powerful subtleties, careful nuance, and a deeply brief script. So many scenes are beautifully crafted, yet cleverly and accurately reflect the experience of women from both inside and outside various social groupings. The sometimes sad characters gentleness, passion, and strong strong feelings, slide around metaphorically in the raindrops we see on sodden windows or steamy glass, and in snapshot views looking into or out of cars and buildings. You are held in speculative suspense, waiting for the characters to reveal what they are thinking or feeling.

The spoken words often have more than one meaning, and veiled messages often hang in the air, this film asks you to tease out what’s happening by using your own perceptions of people. The almost invisible signals between Carol and Therese exude tension, as they search each other’s face for a sign of the words they cannot speak, and wait for synchronicity to expose their thoughts. Such an exquisite dance between two people is beautifully presented.

This portrayal of discretion between two women during a time not that long ago, is in high contrast to me sitting openly in a generic cinema during daylight hours watching an essentially lesbian film, something not possible some 20 years ago. I heard someone use the word ‘sumptuous’ about this film. I agree. There are so many layers to it, it will no doubt be used in academic and educational studies in the future.

‘Carol’ set in 1950’s, is within the life experience of women we know, women who have had to be subtle and careful about who they are, living with the social attitudes that lesbian women can be ‘cured’, and gay men will be imprisoned. Thankfully today the idea of a medical cure for these women’s sexuality is officially abhorred by major therapist organisations (2014), and the ideas that  ‘there must be a reason for ‘it’’, ‘I know what you need…’, ‘should they be allowed to have children’, are less commonly heard today.  It’s a relief that our country is safer for us all now, thanks to those who were concerned enough to make the effort and fight for changes in rights and laws.

Did anyone else notice a certain Audrey Hepburn look of Therese in this film? Think it will catch on?  And as for Carol’s daughter Rindy, what cuties the Heim twins are. That childrens hairstyle was around for a long time; I have pictures that need to be destroyed….

The times yes they have changed but oh how they haven’t, sometimes. How many of us have also waited in a car for a lover to deliver/ pick up/ negotiate children, trying to keep the children from being ‘in the middle of it all’. Control and vitriol is still out there from people struggling to accept reality. As for the scene with Carol and the solicitor, I heard this in the cinema; “Carol with the solicitors, what a woman! Going for what’s right and for her child in those times; and getting the best she can for her; and for them both for later. How strong a woman is she.” True feminism, a dignified woman balancing her decisions to minimize the fallout. More please.

I know some of us left the cinema haunted by this film, and walked the city streets afterwards in a romantic bubble believing that all things are possible. I’d choose this luxurious film over the hysteria in others such as ‘Wonderful Life’ any day.

If I was to be critical, I wonder about the awkward level of discomfort if one looks at this story as a parallel narrative of Carol and her child. Thinking of it as an example of a woman playing out her lack of relationship with her daughter, through a relationship with a younger woman, however kindly. There is an age difference between the women. There is a power difference. I’m willing to ignore any possible psychological distaste on the basis that in the real world don’t all relationships include power differences of some kind? Whether we ab-use the differences is surely what really matters.

The cars by the way are all gorgeous and I want one, any of them. Carol’s, 1949 Packard Super Deluxe 8, oyster colour, also had a rare Egyptian style hood ornament. Abby’s, 1950 Packard Convertible, forest green. Taxi’s, 1950 Chevrolet and a 1949 Dodge. Harge’s,1952 Cadillac. Yum yum.

I won’t even try to mention the costumes, on the basis that my (tired and disheveled) wardrobe will leave home if I do, just to say, they are also gorgeous, tailored, and classy. I’m sure some of that has already caught on.

As for the soundtrack, it is tasty on its own. It’s smoky, moody and musically accomplished, and brings to mind the fullness and accuracy of modern day sultresses Alison Moyer and Adele. ‘Easy Living’ sung by Billy Holliday sets the scene for the year we are in and sums up the women’s situation; they don’t write music like that anymore. The choice of tunes melts the viewer into the story, and warms a cold winters night. As a result, I’m suggesting that next time we give someone a gift we give music, specially chosen, tunes that have a message, or if you receive some, listen up!

So, join me, put on your big winter coat, or wear your best lipstick, or take a stroll in the city, or cuddle up with one you love, or take tea at the best restaurant you can, or drive with care on a long road.… you’ll see the attraction.

And finally; I have a train set. I have a car. I can paint walls. I take photographs. I like music. I can accidently leave gloves, all I need to know is where…

Ruby

P.S.  Don’t take it from me, see what the professionals say about it :

Tim Robey, The Telegraph;

“understanding love as the riskiest but most necessary gamble in anyone’s experience.” 

Peter Bradshaw, The Guardian;

“The movie finds something erotic everywhere.” 

Carrie Lyell, DIVA;

DIVA focused on the responses of reporters, which bares out the thought that things haven’t completely changed.

 “A ‘clumsy’ reporter asked both actors, he said: ‘What I love so much about this film is the love story between the two of you and how it didn’t feel like it was homosexual love story; it felt very heterosexual, if I may…’ “

And got short shrift:

“Blanchett was having none of it, and interrupted the reporter to say, ‘It felt normal’. Mara then joined in and said: ‘People are allowed to watch it for what it is, which is a love story between two humans.’ “ 

Quite.

Social Media Training with The LGBT Fed

Andrea, tell me about the Big Assist and the Fed’s social media project. I understand the Big Assist helped by funding the project. How did this help?

I think being able to get funding for projects like this is of great benefit to the LGBT community. Learning about social media and the basics of the technology behind it allowed us to think about how to gain the interest of members and others using social media skills. We are aiming to build the profile of the Fed.

Who did you want to reach out to, using this funding?

Members of the LGBT community, allies and supporters of LGBT people and issues, hopefully worldwide. Bringing members of the community together is important because being part of a minority group can sometimes feel lonely; people can be quite isolated especially in some communities. Sparking up conversations with people who have different views and perceptions of life is a good thing; it helps to break down barriers and connect us.

Can you give any examples of the kind of work you did on the project?

We learned about social media websites such as Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and ways to get noticed, how important reach is and how random response to posts and tweets can be. You never know if you are going to get 12 hits or 2000. For example, a blog which was posted by one of our members on the Fed webpage was then shared on Facebook and Twitter, linking it to other social media groups which had an interest in the subject matter (a music review). These links attracted comments from as far afield as the USA, and helped the Fed grow its profile internationally.

How was the project delivered?

Carolyn Reid was the course tutor. It was delivered in weekly evening sessions to a group of us. There were 10 of us involved directly, but we also disseminated the information to our contacts too.

Tell me more about the group and the people who were involved.

It was a very diverse group. There were members of all ages, male and female. We had deaf members too, so a signer was provided. I would say we were a socially and ethnically mixed group.

It sounds very inclusive and that members needs were considered, and that barriers to participation were addressed.

Without a doubt. Speaking personally, it was a very comfortable place to be.

What did you most enjoy about the course?

I enjoyed the social interaction, we all got on well, the way it was presented and received by the group. Carolyn has a passion for this kind of work and her enthusiasm and belief in the group was uplifting.

What could be improved upon with the course?

What I would like to see is a follow up course, with more in depth training. I don’t think the course we did needed to be improved.

What were the outcomes from the training?

I am now able to post to social media as an administrator for the Fed. I have also passed on the knowledge I gained to other members of the LGBT community, raising their awareness of the power of social media and how to be more effective at spreading information across other social media sites.

Finally, what would you say about the course to any future participants?

Just that they would benefit from doing it. Knowing that you are in a safe space helps the learning process. Everyone is at a different level, the course leader is aware of this and works with you at your own pace. And it was a lot of fun, with a great group of people, doing something very worthwhile!

 

 

Pride 2015

Out law Pride special bulletin

It’s been an amazing couple of months with the Supreme court in the USA declaring after a long legal battle that Same-sex marriage has to be made legal throughout the whole of the United States. Rumours of the state of Texas banning all forms of marriage so as to ban Same-sex marriage without breaching equality legislation have proved to be exaggerated.

Also in Ireland, a public referendum was held asking all voters to vote for or against Same-sex marriage being legalised, the first nation to do so. Out Law was in Brisbane when the result was announced on ticker tape across the roof of the South Bank Museum of modern art – what a great way to get the news !

Last week at Pride London, the Law Society had a huge turn out of LGBT lawyers in the parade, marching for LGBT human rights.

Northern Pride: this Saturday, The LGBT Fed stand will have lots of these lovely Legal hero Pride 15 T shirts to give away, so stop by and see the team, including Out Law. LGBT Lawyers have done so much to further Human rights in of LGBT people in the UK. Show your support by wearing the T shirt with Pride.

See you there,

Out Law

 

2015 IDAHOT Day – Celebrating Sexual and Gender Diversities

The International Day against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia is celebrated worldwide and every year on the 17^th day of May.  It is a day set aside for the celebration of sexual and gender diversities.  It was created in 2004 to draw the attention of policymakers, opinion leaders, social movements, the public and the media to the violence and discrimination experienced by LGBTI people internationally.  In just about a decade, the day has established itself as the single most important date for LGBTI communities.  It is now celebrated in more than 130 countries, including 37 where same-sex acts are illegal, with 1600 events reported from 1280 organizations in 2014.   Here in the United Kingdom, the event is marked across the country by various LGBT organisations and the highlight of the day is usually the hoisting of the Rainbow flag (symbol of the LGBT community) in many public places, including town halls and civic centres, and speech giving by both government officials and private individuals in solidarity with the LGBT communities.

The day May 17^th was specifically chosen to commemorate the World Health Organization’s decision in 1990 to declassify homosexuality as a mental disorder.  As a result, it has received official recognition from several States, international institutions, including the European Parliament, and by countless local authorities. Furthermore, many United Nations agencies also mark it with various events.  The day was first known as the ‘International Day against Homophobia’ and in 2009, Transphobia was added explicitly in the title of the name, in the recognition of the very different issues at stake between sexual orientation and gender expression. It was this year that Biphobia was added to the title as an acknowledgement of the specific issues faced by bisexual people.

As we celebrate this unique day in the history of LGBT communities, it is necessary to draw the attention of world to the fact that at the moment, at least 81 countries across the world criminalize same sex relationships. This means that 40% of the world population (or 2.8 billion people) are not free to choose who they love. Millions of homosexual and bisexual people live in a constant state of fear.  Sexual and gender minorities face public stigmatization, police violence, state repression, attacks and murders. Their most basic human rights are being denied daily, while in 10 countries, including countries in Africa, the death penalty can be applied for same sex acts.

As someone of African descent, I am in no doubt that Africa is the most homophobic continent in the world.  There are, at the moment, about 20 countries in the continent where being gay is criminal offence.  Apart from government legislations against LGBT people, they are also seen as taboo and an abomination by society in general. Some of these countries are Cameroon, Ghana, Uganda, Malawi and Nigeria.  LGBT people are generally regarded as outcasts and derided upon.  Homosexuality and transgender are seen to be against African conservative traditional beliefs. In these countries, homosexuality has been described in the most provocative ways by their leaders. In Uganda, President Museveni said ‘homosexuals are disgusting’. President Mugabe of Zimbabwe said ‘homosexuals are worse than pigs’ and threatened to kill them.  The Gambian president, Yayah Jammeh warned all homosexuals to flee his country or face death by beheading. His country, like most other African countries, punishes homosexuality with up to 14 years in prison.  He had previously called LGBT people as ‘vermin’ and has compared his fight against them to ‘fighting malaria-causing mosquitoes.’  He said, ‘L-G-B-T’ can only stand for Leprosy, Gonorrhea, Bacteria and Tuberculosis.  All these threats have left many African gays to either commit suicide or to go underground in fear of attack on their lives.  There are few that are fortunate, (like myself), that have been able to come to the United Kingdom and other European countries to seek protection.  At the moment, many African gay men and lesbians are being tried and imprisoned.  There is a witch hunt and perceived and real gay men are daily attacked and in some cases, murdered in cold blood.  The threat against gay people in Africa is not speculative but real.

The International Lesbian and Gay Association reported in May 2014 reported that gay activists in Nigeria have reported instances of mobs attacking people they believed to be homosexual and beating some of the victims to near death. These victims, on being taken to the police station are then further roughed up by police officers.  Furthermore, the Swedish Migration Board report of a fact finding mission (FFM) to Nigeria conducted between 11 and 16 May 2014, released in December 2014, stated ‘The consulted interlocutors agreed that Nigerians in general are against homosexuality. Cornerstones in society’s perception of homosexuality include opinions that homosexuality is unnatural, sinful, and an abomination, as well as the importance of family and reproduction.  When addressing LGBT issues, the focus in Nigeria is on homosexuals, and men primarily. Other persons concerned within the LGBT designation, such as transgender and intersex persons, are overwhelmingly unseen in society. Furthermore, many Nigerians do not consider the situation for homosexuals a significant problem. Many Nigerians are attached to what is considered African values and are profoundly religious. Homosexuality, however, is largely considered non-African, and churches and mosques preach that it is the work of the devil. There is no religion in the country that is not opposed to homosexuality. Within this context, a politician who starts advocating for the rights of homosexuals risk losing his/her position. The issue is taboo in society. The man on the street condemns homosexuality. A homosexual is seen as the black sheep of the family, and is ostracised by society. Criteria perceived as indicators of homosexuality, and which may attract attention for attack and persecution, include; being unmarried and childless, shared housing, appearance (non-conformists may attract attention as well as effeminate men and masculine women)’.  The above report paints a very clear and vivid picture of the precarious circumstances in which gay men and lesbians conduct their affairs not only in Nigeria but indeed, in the whole of Africa.

As we celebrate IDAHOTB day, it is vital for everyone who loves freedom and equality to lend their voices against these oppressive laws against LGBT people. These laws only make people flee their countries for safety.  These laws lead to friends and families becoming informers and turns citizens against each other. Unfortunately, both church and state are now inciting homophobic hatred to gain strength with their followers.  This is absolute backwardness in Africa, when, in other parts of the world, many nations are moving forward in their acceptance of homosexuality.  I ask Britain and other gay-friendly countries to support the activities of LGBT organizations in countries.  In this way, they too will be able to support their LGBT communities across the world. And to all anti-gay countries, let us say it loud and clear that it’s a NO TO HOMOPHOBIA, TRANSPHOBIA AND BIPHOBIA.

Abraham Eiluorior

Abraham is an asylum seeker and lives in Sunderland.

The Power and the Glory

Reflections on the Pin Drop Tour by Brandi Carlile at Union Chapel, Islington…

February 2015

Much as I love Brandi Carlile’s music, I could not set a fire in my cold bones about seeing her play live for the first time. It was a cold winter night, with predictions of snow. I was hungry, feeling disconnected from the in-crowd who clearly followed Brandi across whole continents, despite my being there with the woman I love. I heard Spanish, German, Dutch and indistinguishable languages in the hubbub outside the Union Chapel, as we stamped our feet for warmth, my face wrapped with a woolly scarf, hijab style, to keep out the biting wind. Thinking, what was the point of being here for hours, waiting, when we could have been in the cosy pub around the corner with a pint of Greene King IPA. A scalded coffee and a flavourless takeaway burger were no consolation, ending up discarded into a bin along with the German girls’ beer bottles. I am ashamed to say I moaned, unlike this happy, good-natured, rosy-nosed crowd.

Finally, with the belated unlocking of the doors, it all began to change. The agony of waiting turned to awestruck wonder, as soon as I stepped inside the astoundingly beautiful venue of old wooden pews and ledges of stonework laid out ethereally with hundreds of candles. Clearly, we had come to worship. A ragged wind- whipped flock, huddled with our hot chocolate mugs, waiting for our priestess.

It all began with an audible hush as a creaky old gramophone started playing from the stage, announcing the opening of an entirely acoustic performance. A string trio performed flawless re-interpretations of classic songs; a rejection of technology for the purity of unamplified violin and cello. This audacious trio who dared to take on the Killers, Bonnie Tyler and Radiohead risked the kind of disgust, which only an eight year old with a Disney crush could display, when the opening strains of the ubiquitous “Let it Go” began. The spell could not be broken however, and this young girl seated in the next pew to ours, beamed with delight.

There was clearly some kind of magic in the air. In the absence of anything on stage requiring a plug or a socket, the church was strangely electric, as if generating its own power. Heralding the arrival of Brandi and her twin minstrels, Tim and Phil Hanseroth, haunting cello music filled the church. Looking up, the two cellists were lit with a candle glow, like angels in the gallery above, followed by a cheeky violinist appearing like a Jack- in- the- box from behind the pulpit. The crowd began an appreciative roar as Brandi appeared and the band launched into a lively rendition of Again Today, followed by a personal favourite, The Story, always a showcase for Brandi’s amazing voice.

The challenge of singing live without any form of amplification seemed to evolve from a less confident warm up to an effortless sprint, with Brandi’s voice soaring through numerous crowd pleasing tracks, and a host of thrilling songs from her new album, The Firewatcher’s Daughter. The fans greeted the new material with equal enthusiasm. “The Eye” was incredibly performed with just Brandi, the twins’ voices and foot stomps as accompaniment.

By the encore, an old Fleetwood Mac favourite “The Chain” had been dressed up in some new finery and given a fresh outing. Swept along with the band’s enthusiasm and sheer brilliance, you really could have heard a pin drop; the sound was so refined and rich. There were no pyrotechnics, no light shows, no background distraction of video chuntering, no amps, no mikes, and sometimes no instruments bar Brandi’s beautiful voice. Pared back from the fripperies which often accompany music, it was like tasting music for the first time.

And like the freshest, simplest dish of the finest ingredients, it was sublime.

Bloomsbury

Outlaw returns to The LGBT Fed…

OUTLAW: APRIL/MAY 2015

A warm welcome back to the Outlaw Column, now in its new home on The LGBT Fed blog.

It behoves Outlaw in the run up to the election to issue a word of warning to all LGBT Federation members. One election promise that was made more than 2 years ago at the Conservative Party Conference by Theresa May was that if the Conservatives once again come to power, they are going to repeal the Human Rights Act 1998.

The Human Rights Act was the enactment of the United Nations Declaration on Human Rights, signed in 1948 in the wake of the atrocities of the Second World War. The world was so shocked by what had happened to people from the Jewish, LGBT and travelling communities in the concentration camps that it rose as one to say, “never again.” As a result a list of promises that we make to each other was drawn up as our covenant about how we want to treat each other and be treated.

The United Kingdom has no constitution (apart from the Magna Carta which has no relevance today) which was why, unlike other countries, we had to make a new law in order to comply with the United Nations Convention which made all of the terms and freedoms guaranteed by the United Nations Declaration legal and binding in the United Kingdom.

The Human Rights Act governs everything from the right to life, to the right to privacy, education, freedom from degrading and inhumane treatment, freedom from slavery, the right to a family life , and vitally, access to justice and to a fair trial … what’s not to like? Outlaws grave concern about a new Tory Government is that we will loose all of that as they plan to scrap the Human Rights Act. Having given it much thought, there is no good reason for doing this: unless a future Conservative Government wishes to treat some of us, or certain communities with something less than humanity. This is unacceptable. Many of us might argue that they have done this throughout their last term in Government, by introducing such measures as the bedroom tax and a whole raft of punitive benefit measures, not to mention the horrors of trying to apply for a visa to stay in the United Kingdom if you are LGBT and your life is at risk in your country of origin. They have also seriously depleted access to justice by severely curtailing Legal Aid.

With all the unrest in the world, and the removal of thousands of us in the United Kingdom from the ability to get legal help if needed, our human rights are more important than they ever have been and we must really hold them close. Outlaw says vote for the party that will allow you to keep your rights intact.

Outlaw has also been perusing the parties LGBT manifesto promises. The Labour party is pledging a review for LGBT asylum seekers who, as anybody who has anything to do with these issues will know, that face an almost impossible uphill battle to persuade the Home Office to allow them to stay in the United Kingdom even if their life is at risk if they are returned, with people even having to “prove that they are gay”!

Labour are also planning a review of gender recognition laws and access to gender related health care with a view to bringing down the massive waiting times for trans people. There is also a plan to strengthen hate crime law and to improve LGBT representation in Parliament with an amnesty promise with the introduction of the so called “Turing’s Law” to pardon men convicted of historic sex crimes relating to outdated anti gay laws.

The SNP has also launched its manifesto on the 20th May 2015 with everyone’s darling, Nicola Sturgeon calling on Labour to work with them and suggesting the creation of a special envoy, a diplomatic person in the Foreign Office to promote the rights of LGBT people throughout the world as an integral part of UK foreign policy. In the US, Barrack Obama has created a similar post, appointing diplomat Randy Berry. Labour has responded by saying that they would be minded to create a similar role for House of Lords member, gay rights advocate Michael Cashman. The Conservatives remain opposed to this, which will possibly not surprise anyone.

Meanwhile over in Northern Ireland, the Democratic Unionist Party have failed to mention LGBT issues at all in their manifesto, and have historically opposed any and all LGBT rights votes in Westminster and in Stormont. A recently drafted “conscience clause” is part of a Bill to exempt religious people from equality laws. Making the headlines earlier this year was Asher’s Baking Company in Ireland who refused to make a wedding cake for a gay couple. This is important to us in mainland UK as the DUP and other Irish parties are being tipped for possible coalitions with the Conservatives. Northern Ireland is the only part of the UK who continues to oppose same sex marriage.

In relation to the Liberal Democrats, many will be aware of the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Bill currently going through the Commons. In 2005 the Lib Dems made a manifesto commitment to end discrimination against lesbians seeking fertility treatment. In a free vote in the Commons on the new Bill, which proposes easier access to lesbians and single women to NHS fertilisation services, and will allow a lesbian or gay couple to be named on the birth certificate as the legal parents of the child, was subject to a free vote. Among 16 Lib Dems who voted against the Bill were front benchers including Vince Cable, Steve Webb and former leader Charles Kennedy. Disappointingly North East Lib Dem MP, Alan Beith, also voted against.

To be fair to the Conservatives, they also offered a free vote on this issue and 49 voted in favour of the Bill including the party leader David Cameron, George Osbourne, Ken Clarke and Jeremy Hunt. 84 Tory MP’s voted against.

In terms of UKIP, politeness and a healthy regard for broadcasting and journalism laws prevents Outlaw from expressing an opinion on UKIP’s LGBT election manifesto.

For many of us section 28 of the Local Government Act which effectively banned any positive images of LGBT people in public life in the UK is still a vivid memory. The LGBT community in Russia is feeling the full impact of their very own section 28, which is based in fact on the UK legislation. All around the world LGBT people are being subjected to “curative rape” (South Africa to name but one) execution (Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan) and a quick visit to the Human Dignity Trust website gives a list of the 79 countries/jurisdictions where being LGBT is a crime. Please do not take the human rights that we currently enjoy in the United Kingdom for granted, and vote accordingly. Once we lose them we will never get them back.

 

Older LGBT People Conference

‘Making Person Centred Care a reality: How to Support older LGBT people in care settings.’ First National Conference, Newcastle upon Tyne 29^th Oct 2014.

Have you ever thought about what it will be like to be older… much older… elderly…? I know, me neither, no one wants to think about it but we will definitely get older, a day, a week, a year, maybe very old (my Gran was 102 when she died so how many years might that leave you to go) and there are things we just might wish we’d done now, put in place now. This conference raised loads of questions about older life, most of which were uncomfortable. Have you ever thought about where you might be living (I haven’t) or want to live or need to live or whether you might need carers, or to be in a care home or what you might need in order not to be in one? Or, do you know who is your next of kin and what that means? Are they really, officially? Who might you want to be your next of kin, and how would people, or services, know who that is? And within all of that, have you thought about whether being lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender might mean you need to make any kinds of special provision for yourself? What personal or service issues might you or those around you have to deal with?

I know, it’s a lot of questions, but I bet most of them have crossed your mind before. For me most of them raise their heads at New Year, at funerals, when I’m visiting people in hospital, or, yes, when someone is dying (like my Gran who incidentally I considered somewhat immortal until the final days).  When exactly am I going to answer these questions for myself? I’ve put them off and into a ‘pending’ file in my mind for more years than I like to think and they adhere to the rule of disliked things i.e. they stick around and never go away, just like for example those horrible gloves someone gave you, warm, practical, sick green (in my case), and both still here. The lovely ones you specially bought, expensive, fine leather, hitech performance dry… only ever find one, or at best two right-handed ones. The questions remain pristine in my mind, which doesn’t mean I’ve dealt with them, and just having them there is not enough.

No one wants to think about being older, is that a sign of the youth orientated society we’re living in? I have always imagined that I will think about it properly or make plans for ‘when I’m ‘old’’, when I’m older. I have put no age on either of these times, and now I’m mulling it over, there is some slippage in what age I used to consider ‘old’ and therefore the right time to make those plans.  Other than signing into a work pension (and would I have done that if I hadn’t had to actively ‘opt out’) I have done very little preparation. Periodically I remind myself I must make a Will, on the basis that I don’t want the government to get all the benefit of my good-gotten-gains, and because people might want some of my (more valuable) stuff. It remains unwritten.

Yesterday’s conference was provocative. There was a lot of information available through presentations workshops and discussion, and an unavoidable personal edge to the issues raised. We were challenged to think about what we might want as individual people as well as service providers or activist groups. I was provoked by one workshop to think about the language I use and I hear being used. Who around me uses non-gender specific pronouns (they, we, ourselves, us) when talking about their lives, and what might that mean? About ways people (I) hide ourselves, out of need or fear or habit. Not that we need or should tell everyone about our sexual orientation at every opportunity (or none), but feeling the need to stay hidden, the panic we feel when we think we’ll be asked something specific about our relationships or lives, is not impact neutral. LGBT people are skilled in finding creative ways to have conversations without revealing our personal lives, our sexual orientation, not least because it might negatively change those relationships. We assess risk daily and sometimes within a split second, we adapt. Have you ever ‘de-gayed’ your house, for parents or friends or colleagues visiting? The conference asked us to consider how might that be for someone, you, me, if there was a health worker or carer visiting every day?

It was interesting to hear what is happening from other parts of the country and how we might apply or adapt some of that in the North East. Most, if not all of these agencies have information on websites or facebook, and are well worth a browse but to give you an idea of the presenters: Dr Kathy Almack (Senior Research Fellow, University of Nottingham), Debbie Smith (Regional National Dementia Strategy), Tina Wathern (Stonewall Housing), Equal Arts, Opening Doors London, Anthony Smith (Equalities and Human Rights Age UK), Open Clasp, SAND (Safe Ageing No Discrimination, Shropshire) and many more.  Alma Caldwell (Chief Executive Age UK North Tyneside) chaired the day with a light touch that gave us time to ‘network’ or is that jargon for ‘speak and communicate with each other’.

Open Clasp, performed an abbreviated version of their incredible theatre production ‘Swags and Tails’, making some of the issues (particularly identity) acutely and poignantly visible to us. Since the age of probably two or three, haven’t we all chosen what clothes we wear. Worn our own clothes. Haven’t we all tried to be real, as honest as we can be, at least with some of the people around us at home or at work? A struggle that costs us dearly one way or another. The ‘Swags and Tails’ excerpts were hard-hitting and pointed out how things might be in our future, and indeed are now for some people. It highlighted the need for staff training, more services, better services, and increased awareness of LGBT issues. The audience was genuinely affected and some seemed emotionally stunned by the drama. Despite it being my third viewing, I was one of the many people wiping a tear away today. Why were we all so moved? Open Clasp gave a skilled performance, finely honed and expertly focused on the dilemmas and experiences of people on both sides of care provision. They addressed themes that are familiar and shared by us all as human beings like the commonality of first loves and lost loves making some of us smile, and the distress of being hidden or excluded striking at our hearts. A dramatic way of putting it but everyone I talked to had been genuinely moved by the performance.

In all the presentations there was a general feeling for the need to stay vigilant and be aware of what’s happening or threatening LGBT people and services. There was a strong wish for us not to lose the lessons of the past but to use what we know, to hear the advice of older LGBT people.  A wish for this wisdom not to be lost or forgotten but to be remembered, and utilized to counter the perception that we are all ‘equal’ now (note the word, ‘treated the same’ is not equality, thank you) and we can all relax.  But the reality is there is a difference between what is thought to be out there and what is actually out there. We heard stories of LGBT people being ‘prayed for’ by the misguided or well meaning. We heard there are many older people in care provision going ‘back into the closet’, even people who have been activists. Why? because the care provision is not LGBT friendly, or the fight to be strong for themselves as LGBT people when they are vulnerable, is one fight too many. We heard about human rights of all kinds increasingly being disregarded, eroded or taken from us in the UK and those with least voice and little perceived need (older LGBT people) will fall foul of these political choices.

Perhaps one of the points of the day was to stir us up, to move us to some action, to mobilise, to get us thinking about where we might be in ten twenty thirty fourty years time. and question will there be suitable services for us. In the workshops I heard about a variety of generic services available as we get older. I was also astonished to discover there is no specific LGBT care provision anywhere in the UK. There is no political will to provide it. Does that matter to us? The stark reality seems to be that you can find specific care provision be it residential or other if you have specific medical needs, belong to a religion, have a specific ethnicity, have a particular condition, or need specific health services. If you want or need LGB or T specific provision, you won’t find it.

This was an extremely interesting, challenging and nourishing conference that stimulated the intellectual, political, emotional and other facets of myself. Huge thanks to the people who organised it, and those who contributed, for all the hard work and effort involved in making it possible. It was a very positive conference despite the difficult situation out there, and it left me tentatively hopeful that change can come, that we can and are willing to learn from each other and that the provision we want might become available, if we demand promote or create it. As I left I heard positive comments and feedback about the day like ‘fantastic’, ‘I didn’t know about that’, ‘we have to get some change to happen’. People were engaging each other in conversation and as I was earwigging these seemed to be mainly about the issues of the day and not just conversations and chat!

The conference presented me with a variety of issues and has made me stop and think. I have put a date in my diary, 21^st November, and I intend to actually do something. I intend to ask myself what I need in place to maintain my life as I want it as I get older and or less able to be so independent? Might I always want to share my bed (where can I do that in resi care), how do I continue to drive, do I need to move to a more manageable house, and other questions about my future life. Yes it is scarey and no I am not looking forward to doing it, but continuing to not think about it is scarey and worse. I intend to address some of these questions or make appointments to do so, to make a Will, have at least one conversation with someone about what I might want by way of care should I need it, think about what is my ‘family configuration’ and official next of kin, and where are my local services and how I can influence them. Lots more but basically to think things through and start to make some plans. Generally I intend to put my house in a bit more order for the future. A sort of personal spring clean but in autumn, or is it winter.

Ruby

The LGBT Fed AGM 2014

A fabulous meeting, none of that dusty dreary all in favour hands up nonsense… well there was a very small amount of that… it was completely delicious hot food, ideas and interest, chat and catch up, and planning. Apparently there was salad as well as incredible curries and sweet pudding that we devoured (ahem some of us having seconds +).  Then a tasty cuppa with a completely lovely bunch of people all meeting to promote LGBT visibility in the region. Once we got passed the food (did I mention we had delicious food) and the business bit (we voted it all accepted), we organized a strategy for next year. Yay, we plan to work together with other LGBT organisations, we have enough enthusiasm and energy to make our ideas real even though we all do it voluntarily (no paid workers here) and we have lots of really interesting ideas for 2015. We plan to have another LGBT Ball in 2015 which is our 10^th anniversary and one of our partner organisations, Hart Gables 10^th too! There’ll be a selection of workshops and activities in the coming year, from more IT development to personal and political action, and maybe some telling of our own stories.  We don’t have the money to do it all yet, but we will seek it out and you can stay in touch with us via social media to see how we are doing. We now have an improved website, tadah, with facebook, a blog and twitter all up and running, and hope to add more social media tools as the year progresses.  If you have any ideas questions or want to become a member, find us,, like us follow us on ‘The LGBT Fed’.

Ruby